Posted in thoughts


If there is one thing I know – one thing I have experience – it would be change. A scary thought this one is. In so much, a few of us avoid it at all cost. Change happens; no matter how hard you try to stop it, change – and perhaps other people – will move on even if you’re not willing. It is up to you to choose to stay on the ride or get off.

The fact of the matter is, without change we would all be stuck in the same place doing the same things. Never progressing or moving forward. It is what I call “holler syndrome”. People stay in the same place their whole life, basically doing the same things their parents did before them. No one opening up or willing to learn anything new or experience anything new.  No new ideas or new faces or places.

You can’t learn and grow if you never do anything or open up to new experiences or ideas. What I mean is it’s like a dog being chained in someone’s yard or fenced in.  All the dog knows is that one single yard and all that is in it. The people and the surroundings.  When another dog comes along and tells the chained dog that there are other places and other things do exist, the chained dog refuses to hear of such non-sense.  The chained dog is comfortable in what it already knows.  It isn’t free to learn and grow; it is bound by chains.

The real freedom is getting rid of those chains, the ones that hold you back. Heavenly Father has given us special gifts.  One of them is the freedom of choice or freewill.  We have a brain and the Holy Spirit to help guide and teach us.  We need to exercise what was given so we can make decisions. We aren’t always going to know who is right and isn’t, what idea is right and what isn’t, but we are given a map and the tools.  It is up to each of us to use them.  Our life experiences is the blueprint, it is the ingredients that makes you, you.  It is the change we make, the progression toward something greater.

Change opens the door to more than we could ever imagine, more than we thought could ever be possible.  We must allow the Holy Spirit to work in our lives, we must ask for Heavenly Fathers help.  He doesn’t expect us to do things on our own, he doesn’t want us to.  Change builds Faith. You can see it working, literally.  You realize that there is something that needs work in your life. You seek guidance.  You exercise a Faith, maybe you knew existed, maybe you didn’t.  You know what is right and you make that change.  Right before your eyes you see the difference, you feel the difference and you know in your Heart and you feel it. It is that moment you fall on your knees and thank Heavenly father for his love and his guidance. It is that moment that you know without a doubt that he exists and he loves you.  Is it that moment you grew, just a little more than the day before.

I think about the Apostles. Paul (Saul of Tarsus) in particular. What if he decided that he wouldn’t change, what if he decided that what he had always known was right and true?  It was his change that made him who he was.  Christ knew who Paul could be if he chose to do so, it was up to him to see he needed change and then to make that change.  You can read throughout the scriptures and you will see all the changes made – changes people chose.  You will see the differences each change made.  You can see the building of Faith. Without this wonderful thing called Change, we cannot know of Heavenly Father and the blessings he has for us.

Change can be used as a chance to grow or regress. One thing is for sure, one or the other will happen. Attitude is important, it governs the change and Faith shapes the change. Good Faith turns all change into progressive growth and learning. Good Faith shapes ones attitude into a strong humility and patience. You become very observant and level-headed which in turn makes decisions more toward the “long-term” benefits from being patient. This is in contradiction to “panic” or over emotional spontaneous decisions that are usually regretted later as one had more time to think about it. Finally good Faith invites the Holy Spirit in your life to inspire decisions that are parallel to the will of our Father that is in Heaven, that looks upon us from a bigger picture than we can see from our narrow view of life, helping us into new directions that we could never find on our own.

Change is opportunity.


Posted in thoughts

into the Beginning

As she waited, she felt a familiar pain – a familiar feeling, it seemed her childhood nightmare returned – only this time her little yellow blankie was there, to comfort her and to tell her it was okay. Someone was there to hold her and to turn on Tom & Jerry.

Her husband and Heavenly Father were there, by her side. Little yellow blankie was her comforter; it was her Heavenly Father, even as a child. She was never alone. Her husband held her and he loved her. He took her hand in his and assured her that no matter the outcome, he would be there – for eternity.

She had nothing to fear. Death was already overcome, not by her; but her savior. Death is only the beginning, the awakening into a new life. This is the promise he made. Her hope was in him, she had nothing to fear. Her dear, sweet husband was her eternal companion; they wouldn’t be apart for very long.

“The test results”, the doctor said, “I’m afraid it’s positive. It is a malignant tumor. We will start treatment right away.”

She didn’t want to go through the pain of Chemotherapy again – she couldn’t bear the idea of her husband watching her go through the torment, she loved him too much. She was given several options; treatment would only delay the inevitable. She opted out. Not to spare herself, but her precious husband. She could take the pain; No, not him. She couldn’t put him through that. She thought of her parents and how much they loved her, how much they endured when she was young. No, she wouldn’t put him through that. She would be fine, God was with her. She did it once, she could do it again.

Her husband squeezed her hand as the doctor spoke. She looked over to him and met his eyes; they slowly smiled at each other. The bond they had was so strong – no man could ever take it or Death separate. Their love was God’s love; manifested in each other. A bond so powerful, nothing could ever break it. She squeezed his hand and they spoke, one word. The word that was their bond, the foundation – God’s promise of forever; the journey they would walk forever more –


He pulled her to his chest. Held her under his arm, to protect her, to love her. His wife. Not from his head to rule over him nor his feet to be trodden down by him, but his rib. Close to his heart – his equal. His protection and his love. This promise he made. Today, Tomorrow until Forever. They would share an eternity. By no means was this verdict one of Death. No, but one of life, an everlasting life. There is no Death – Christ overcame so we didn’t have too. He took the sting, the pain of Death for us. No, this was only the beginning. The journey Together. Through God, they would overcome any obstacle, any doubt. They would walk together.

Neither would be alone. They became united – two became one, through God. Let no man put asunder what God has bound. Not even Death.

She wasn’t afraid. It was okay. Her life was complete. Her tender, loving Heavenly Father blessed her; he made all things right, good and true. He healed her and he loved her. She found what she as looking for; he filled the hole in her heart. He changed her into something beautiful; as her husband told her many times, she bloomed into the prettiest flower and most precious of all! She was a daughter in her father’s kingdom. Through is his love and tender mercies, she was made new and given a new life and a new hope. Her father knew the desires of her and he made it so.

She was the only member of her faith in her family. Her wish, that one day they would come to the same knowledge. They would become members and sealed together. Over the years with God, she was given her wish; she was to be sealed with her dad, mom, brother and sister. She loved them with all heart. They performed temple work together. Strange her journey began this way and her beginning – Yes, she was ready. Her life was complete. She was ready to waken and to live with her Father in heaven once again. Her husband and her family with her. This was the promise he made.

Time seemed to fly by. It was quick. She spent her last few months with her precious family. She could sense the time was close, so she asked her husband to let these moments be private. She wanted her family to remember life, not this. To remember how much she loved them, how she would always love them, to remember what will be again, not this earthly awakening.

He stayed with her and they talked about their new beginning. They laughed and they loved. He held her hand, whispered how much he loved her and how he was proud of her – to call her his wife – how she was the most amazing critter he had ever seen, his lil bunny – the petite brunette with green eyes. He loved her nose, it suited her perfectly. He told her many times throughout their marriage, that he was glad she didn’t ruin it with surgery because any other nose couldn’t nuzzle like hers – any other nose wouldn’t be as sweet. A tear rolled down his cheek, he would miss her, but it was okay. Seeing his tear, she touched it with her finger and kissed it, then pressed her finger to his lips, speaking very softly she told him,

“I love you, so very much,” she took a deep breath and a tear fell from her eyes, “I have thanked Heavenly Father every day for you and your love. I am so proud to be your wife. The patience and understanding; how you never gave up on me. With all my faults, you loved me anyway. Even when I didn’t deserve it”, she gently touched his face and smiled”, you better not find another woman; I’ll come back and haunt you! She teased and they both laughed.

“Only you lil bunny, only you,” he gently nuzzled her nose with his.

This simple gesture was theirs. It spoke volumes. It told the love they felt in their hearts, it told their story. Their life journey together and their beginning; it wasn’t easy for them. By the world’s standards, they should have never made it; their walked should have ended long ago. I agree; he probably married the wrong woman, by this standard. But, by Heavenly Father’s standard they were exactly what they needed for each other (and Heavenly Father already knew this). The patience he had for her – the unwavering love – could only be given by the hand of Heavenly Father himself. Taurus and Leo just don’t match, but they beat the odds. They could do anything – the triangle of God. They loved more deeply, they cared so strongly – nothing could take that from them – nothing. Heavenly Father let them experience real love. He loved them so much, he wanted to give each of them someone who would love and would guide and teach.

He sent her husband to her, but Heavenly Father also knew that her husband needed her just as much. They learned from each other and they complemented each other. Most of all they have this unwavering trust and honesty. The real beauty is — their marriage is forever and it was given by Heavenly Father.

He held her for a few moments more and softly kissed her, somehow knowing she didn’t have much time. She took his hand and said,

“You have taught me so much, you stood by me – gave me strength I didn’t know I had; All Through Our Father love. You’re a wonderful teacher. You let me be as clingy as I needed, you let me lean on you – you’re my best friend. You have shown me what it was meant to be, how love really is. You have my heart always. When I said “I will, I meant forever,” she closed her and whispered, “I’ll be waiting for you. I love you.” – She was gone.

Her last moments were peaceful. Full of love and Heavenly Father’s tender mercies. Death isn’t easy, to watch the person you loved more deeply than anyone else passes on, but Death is not an end, by no means just a new beginning. They understood that, it wasn’t goodbye, just “see you later”, or “We’ll see each other soon”. He knew that he would see her again, maybe for what seems like a long time for him, but for her it would only be a matter of minutes until they were reunited. Yes, this is the promise he made. Their father could never break a promise.

He sat there with her, tears rolling down his face. He loved her so much; he would miss her smile and her laugh. He would miss their late night talks about anything and everything – about nothing, just talking – dreams and hopes – she listened to him, she supported him. Those moments of nothing, meant more to him than so many something’s. With all his crazy ideas and building projects, she listened to him and she supported him. She let him lean on her, let him share his heart. Something he never had until her. She completed his very being. He held her hand, touched her face and nuzzled her nose – that, he would miss the most. Her bunny nose – her defining feature and he loved it.

His precious wife; they walked this path together. They came through the hardships and the trials, never – not once giving up on each other. As he sat there, he remembered their walk. From the first day until now; he watched her as she bloomed in the prettiest flower he’d ever seen. Out of all the flowers, she was by far the most special. She gave him strength and the courage.

The funeral arrangements were made rather quickly. Her wish was to be buried underneath a cherry blossom tree with white lilies, but most importantly, she wanted to be buried in her own back yard. He made sure her wish was carried out. Her family and friends were there, it was a celebration of life, not death.

As his time soon approached, age 72, just 5 years later; he couldn’t wait to see her – to nuzzle her nose – to see her smile. He loved her more deeply than one man should be allowed. It should have always been her, but then again, it always was.

Two flowers were placed, one white lily and one marigold; their favorite flowers. He joined his lil bunny; back to where it began.

Man was created by the dust of the earth and woman by the rib of man –

Not his head to rule over him

Nor his feet to be trodden down by him

But his rib; close to his heart and at his side – his arm to wrap around her with his love and protection.

She was there waiting for him – her bunny nose and her smile – She warmed his heart, as only she could. To him, she was his everything and he missed her so much. Now, he would never be without her again. He couldn’t wait to hold her, to nuzzle her nose – he met her embrace and they loved, as promised.

– A Journey into the Beginning –



Posted in thoughts


I have Dignity. I have Morality and Self-worth. I have Self-esteem and Value. All of these things are “unattractive” to the world, to their ideology.  The basis of value and worth are based on two things 1) The amount of clothing you’re willing to not wear 2) The scale of “trashiness” – Is how attractive or how UN-attractive you are.

I think better of myself than what this world thinks. I know that God sees me as something more and something better. I know that some will say if a girl wants to put herself out there, let her, “Who am I to “judge”? I know some will say that its just in men’s nature to look. I don’t buy it. I know a lot of men who are moral, who have value and character who reject this ideology.  Men who protect and care for the women in their lives and would be appalled by these things. It doesn’t make them any less of a man and there is nothing wrong with them, as I’ve heard many say. These men are real men.

In having values and being the kind of person who rejects their ideals and beliefs, they will be-little you , they will attack you and judge you. In knowing that there is something better. There is another way. People will look down on you. The world is upside down.

I see what the world has to offer and I reject it. I choose something better. I choose Dignity, Morality, Self-Worth, Self-Esteem and Value.

If you want to say I’m unattractive, belittle me and attack me – I don’t want to be attractive to you anyway. I reject your thoughts, your ideals and what you find attractive. I don’t want it.  I’ve had my share of what the world thinks and what the world offers. It hurts. It does nothing but leave a deep gaping wound. Everything that you are and everything that you could be, bleeds.  It bleeds out and you find yourself miserable and unhappy.  The only place that I’ve ever found peace, love and happiness was rejecting that and realizing that I’m more than what this world says that I am. The world doesn’t see me for who I am. The world doesn’t see my heart or my soul.  All they see is what the outward is and because I choose Dignity, they reject me.  With what Christ says, “If the world hates you, remember the world hated me first.”  They killed Christ because of who he was (and wasn’t).  That’s what I choose.


Posted in thoughts

Beautiful Sabbath

Yesterday was a beautiful day. For many reasons –


On Christmas Day (2017) my husband was writing down his testimony.  I remember looking over at him while he was typing on

his phone wondering what he was doing.  He showed it to me and said simply he wanted to type it or something along those lines.  I never thought anything of it.

A week or two ago, he gets an email from our 1st Counselor at church asking him to give a talk on Sunday, January 28 on Repentance.

As he was preparing his talk he told me that he wanted to incorporate his testimony in his talk. I thought that was a great idea.  He wrote a draft of his talk and I helped him tweak it.  It was a very good talk – not because I’m his wife, but because it truly was.

Yesterday on our way home from Clay we were talking about the day and just how wonderful it was.  He shared with me that he had been thinking about his testimony and how he’s never shared it. Only with me. He wanted to share it, very much. The thing is, he’s very shy and backward. Very.  God works in our lives very personally and individually. I firmly believe that God has been preparing him for that very day. It started back on Christmas day. He planted the seed and Michael took over and helped it grow. With God, we can truly do anything. We can overcome anything. We can become something greater than we could ever image.

Just as the sacrament meeting was beginning, during the opening song, the 2nd Counselor came over to him (which is VERY unusual, he NEVER does that!) and asked him if he wanted to give his talk and if he was ready and prepared, etc. The interesting part was, speaking in front of people has always been an obstacle for my husband. He was give

n a chance to walk away or take a leap of faith.

I was so proud of him when he decided he wanted to give it. He told Brother Vest that, even though he was really nervous, he wanted to give his talk. In his heart, he was ready. He over came that obstacle and it was just, beautiful. It was the first time he’s ever given his testimony and the first time he’s ever spoken in our ward.

After the opening song and passing of the sacrament, two new missionaries gave a brief testimony (which

is normally what the Bishop has new missionaries do) and then my husband spoke. Before he went up, he quietly asked me to scoot over so I’d be directly in front of the podium so when he looked up, he’d see me. So, as he walked up for his talk, I scooted over just as he asked.

I know him better than anyone. I know that public speaking is very hard for him. I know how shy and backward he is. For him to go up in front of everyone, was HUGE for him. I knew how nervous he was. I knew how scared he was. But I also knew that, this is what God wanted and I knew that God was with him. He showed faith and leaned on God – so God did the rest. – His talk was well spoken, his voice just flowed and the words came out perfectly. It was wonderful! What amazed me even more, the counselor that asked him if he still wanted to give it, looked at me half way though his talk  and mouthed, “Wow! Great talk!”. I just smiled and mouthed back, “I know”.

After his talk, it was like – only way I know to describe is, something woke up. Something came to life and t

he heavens were shining down. Happiness and joy and comfort. The rest of the meetings were amazing. The lessons. The feelings. The entire day. It was like something had been missing and BOOM! There it was. As I was telling this to Michael, he said, “I felt the same thing”. I don’t think it was just us either. I had 3 or 4 people tell me his talk was amazing. He had more than that tell him. The whole atmosphere was different.  The rest of the meetings were, I can’t even describe it. More enjoyable and more filling I guess.

There is something amazing with how the Spirit works.  It testifies and teaches. You can have all the evidence a

nd scripture, etc. That won’t speak to someone. Just as the third speaker said, Brother Frampton, the spirit is the cheat code. You can spend all your time trying to convince someone, but you cannot change someone’s mind with all the knowledge and evidence you present them. The most powerful thing you could do is tell them what you know, what you’ve felt. Let the spirit do the rest.

I believe that’s exactly what Michael did. His talk was personal, it was real. It was true. It was his testimony. He testified of God and the spirit. How just one small and simple thing changed his life.  To where he is now.  Of how finding truth can change you. It wasn’t laced with scriptural doctrine

and references and the like (not saying that it’s not important) – None of that speaks to your heart. None of that takes you in and makes you sit back and say, “I’ve been there. I’ve felt that – I’m not the only one”.

I learned something that day. I’ve been doing it all wrong. If I want to teach and show people what I know. I have to teach what I know. What I’ve felt and how I’ve changed. It’s tugs at your heart. That is the cheat code.

Posted in thoughts

Learning How to Love

I do a lot of thinking on my way home from work and today was one of those days especially. I was talking to someone’s mom about their upcoming marriage and I got to thinking about mine and advice I would give – from my experience and what I know about Christ and his attributes.

The main theme was, if you meet someone’s combativeness with combativeness, where does that get you? How does that help the situation and the people involved? The answer to that is, it doesn’t.

It’s like, adding more wood to an already raging fire. The only end comes when you’ve burned everything up and there is nothing left. The only thing it does, is burn. Hotter and hotter. That’s it – or it will end when someone is willing to become selfless or just tired of fighting. All of which, does nothing to help. It’s so easy to the point the finger at the other person. To put up the natural man defenses and excuses. All of which, Satan wants. To keep contension – to take away happiness and good. Think about this quote to help better understand what I’m trying to say here:

“Brutality reigns where Christ is banished. Kindness and forberance govern where Christ is recognized and his teaching are followed”.

— Gordon B. Hinckley
President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

The hardest lesson that I’m still learning is being that person that says, you know what I don’t care what you say or do. I won’t fight back. It doesn’t do anyone any good. It doesn’t. Human nature tells us to be defensive and to build walls and barriers. For OUR protection. With no never-mind of anyone else, just us. To me, that goes against everything that is Christ.

Of course as I sit here at home trying to get all my thoughts out, I’m stuck. I really need a voice recorder or better yet, I need to remember to use the one I’ve got on my phone!! As I was loading the dish washer more thoughts came and now they’ve gone, right outta my head.

I suppose what I’m really trying to say is, in the years that I’ve been married I have come to realize that, no matter what is being said or done if I fight back, if I meet combative with combative – we get no where. That is so hard. Especially when you feel that you’re being taken advantage of or someone getting one up on you. – To take a step back and realize that, the person lashing out, the person being “mean” or “cruel” is just a symptom of a larger problem. That person, is hurting. Deeply. That person isn’t ready to talk about it or even, they aren’t real sure what the problem is just that – they are hurting.

Once I realized that, I understood Christ a little bit more. His compassion and his love. His selflessness. That – that is what’s its all about. Being less concerned about you and more concerned about the other person. I have seen huge changes in my life and marriage. I’m sure my husband can say the same. We have both grown so much. We have both learned so much – from each other and from following Christ just a little more. From trying our best to become more like him.

I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination – but I have done my very best to become selfless and more compassionate. There are times where I’ve wanted to lash out and spout off everything mean and cruel thing that came to my mind. What good would that have done? If someone is already hurting and lashing out, how is that going to help by my lashing out? I understand that, if I were to do that – wouldn’t my cruelty and meanness add to their already hurting? How would that help them or the situation? The answer – it doesn’t.

There have been times that I have gotten so angry from the hurt that I lashed out in the car. Then, you know what happened? I felt bad. I felt about 1-inch tall. I didn’t even lash out at anyone and I felt that bad. You see, I have to answer for myself. For my actions and reactions. No one else. Regardless. Where was the Christlike love and compassion? Why did I let my anger get the best of me? I can’t do that. So, if I can’t even lash out alone in the car, or wherever – why in the world would I lash out to whomever? I’m not saying that I haven’t lashed out to whomever, cause I have.

I have lashed out at others – basically airing my dirty laundry just to get it out and then – I felt bad every.single.time. Because what example did I just put out there? Definitely not Christ that’s for sure! If I’m going to be known for my fruits, what is that telling people about me and how I am? Should I have lashed out at all? Is it better to get all that frustration out in the privacy of my car? I’m not really sure. I just know that – I’d rather do that, then lash out at a person who is hurting, for whatever reason. I know for a surety that – when someone lashes out, there is an underlying issue. That, lashing out is just a symptom of that problem. I know that, Christ is patient with us and he knows better than anyone. You might be able to keep secrets and things from those around you, but he is one person you cannot hide from. He already knows – in knowing that, I do my best to realize that there is something else going on and in being Christlike, that person is more than likely to confide in me the issue because they know I care. They know I have compassion and love for them – rather than meeting them with my own combativeness, they won’t confide in me because I have given them the impression that I don’t care – anything but Christlike. Does any of this make sense? – In the world of Krystle it does LOL!

This has been an ongoing lesson for me and I’m sure that Heavenly Father gets tired of teaching it to me, but then again, I know he isn’t. He has the perfect love and patience. For that, I will always be grateful.

All I know is – when you choose to love and have compassion instead of meeting combative with combative – things in your life will start to change. You will see the hand of God working with you. You will feel your heart become open and more full of love for others. You will see people as children of the same Father. Again, I’m not perfect. I still struggle – but I do see a difference in my life with what changes I have chosen to make.

I know that in the end, God will only care about what I chose to do or not do. How I choose to act or react. You can choose the greater right/better good or you can choose the natural man. Which in the end brings neither good nor happiness. Satan will lie and tell you that, it’s not your fault. You were born this way. This is just how you are or how it is. You have no choice. All lies to get you to stop progressing. To stop becoming and being more. To take away your God-given and protected gift of Choice.

Learning how to love – something we all can benefit from. I love Heavenly Father and his Son with all my heart, mind and strength. I have a strong testimony of their love for me and their kindness. Their compassion. Their patience. Their tender mercies. All of which, I am not worthy – yet they love me anyway. More than I could ever imagine. That same love, they extend to each and every one of you. I say these things and a prayer that we all, learn how to love. In his holy and wonderful name, even Jesus Christ. Amen.

Posted in thoughts

a gentle reminder

Once again I find myself in other conversation about the same topic only this time, I have another way of explaining.

This world is hard enough as it is. Why must we make it harder with the love/compassion blinders? I say this because people fail to see the sin and wrong doing all for the sake of loving someone. Not wanting to judge or offend. Not wanting to be bigoted or whatever other non-sense. I take issue with this because, when I think about Christ and Heavenly Father. How they are with us — it’s much different.

When we fall, of course Christ is there to pick us up. In doing this though, he still gently reminds us of his teachings and standards. He tells us he loves us. Then tells us to get back up and try again. What really gets me is when people fail to see one important part of the whole thing — gently reminds us of his teachings and standards. That to me, is the key factor here. We are not gently reminding his teachings and standards, but rather skipping that all together and going to the, “love love love — its okay [enter excuse/justification here].

The bottom line is this —

The real issue is Satan. His lies. His half-truths. His evil. His wickedness.

His goal is to destroy what God creates and deems holy. Homosexuality is one of those tools. Destroys our progression. Destroys families. Destroys the priesthood. Destroys our chance to be with God in the Celestial Kingdom. Satan destroys. That is what’s going on here. Nothing more, nothing less. It seems so simple doesn’t it? It’s Satan that complicates it, that stirs it up, that makes it harder. As this world continues to turn against God, that gives Satan more power.  The battle is with Satan and his evil and wickedness.

All of the arguments and justifications for Homosexuality (and other sins) is just another tool weapon in Satan’s arsenal to destroy.

Alma 30:60 – “And thus we see the end of him who perverteth the ways of the Lord; and thus we see that the devil will not support his children at the last day, but doth speedily drag them down to hell.”

Now, with all that being said, The issue of the day that started it all:

You are not born GAY. (Now when I say Gay, I mean the act of. Not SSA.) Being GAY is a choice. I wasn’t born Heterosexual, I chose to be. People who are attracted to children, dogs, sheep, etc aren’t born that way. They chose to be that way. People aren’t born to have rough sex that results in the death of the partner, they chose to be that way. There are nuns and priests who chose to never have sex again. None of them born celibate. They chose to be. I can choose right now if I wanted to never have sex again. I can choose right now to have sex if I wanted. It’s all about choice.

The world we live in is over sexualized. Sex is everywhere. Porn, sexting, people having sex, talking about sex. It’s everywhere. Movies, TV, Books, Interwebs. The world is normalizing it. The world is normalizing being gay. The world is normalizing trans whatever the newest fad — with one of the lovely arguments “Hey, I don’t have to take responsibility for anything because I was born this way. I didn’t choose this.” , etc.

Our children are growing up in this. They are being taught this. They are seeing this and hearing this on a DAILY basis.

We can’t keep normalizing and accepting sin. That is a sin in itself. We love yes, but we cannot be so blinded by that love that we fail to see the sin. If someone is about to fall off a cliff, you’re response should be to stop them from doing so, not standing back and saying well, you have to love them and not judge them and not be bigoted and accept them for who they are!!! NO!!!! you stop them!!! you grab them and say whoa, going the wrong way, I love you and I don’t want you to fall — That is exactly what ya’ll are doing. Letting them fall off the cliff in the name of love and accepting and condoning. Saying, oh well, its not a choice. It’s by birth. No no no. Wrong.

Christ never accepted or condoned sin. Ever. Did he love, Yes. But he wasn’t blinded by that love that he allowed people to keep sinning. Why are we? If he is to be our example, shouldn’t follow him? Why aren’t we  gently reminding? Why are sitting back and accepting and condoning and justifying and normalizing? All in the of love? of compassion?

Please know and understand that Satan is the real enemy. Satan is the destroyer. We are here on this earth to battle him and his lies. He is our battle. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows our weaknesses and he exploits them any and every change he gets. Please know this — BUT we got something he don’t got, a loving Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ who died for us. To atone and advocate for us. To love us and to fight when we’re too weak. To make weak things stronger —

To give us a gentle reminder when we fall — then a helping hand to get back up and try, try again.

Posted in thoughts

the little things

I was going to bed, but thoughts about today wouldn’t go away until I got up and jotted them down. So here goes nothing…

I suppose you could call today a “date” day with my husband, but in all honesty, it seems everytime we go out feels like a date. It’s like a perpetual date with him. It doesn’t feel like marriage, but then again what is marriage “supposed” feel like anyway?

The main thought and point to this whole thing is this:

On the way to Beckley we were talking about all sorts of things, but what really got me was while sitting in Cook Out eating. I was reflecting and realized that he was going to be the big 40 in May and I was going to be 36 in July.  He and I have grown and been through much since we married in 2005 — I asked him one question, “Are you sure you want to grow old with me?” — and without hesitation he looked up at me and right in my eyes and said, “Yes. With a cane in one hand and you in the other.”

It was that moment that got me thinking.  That moment keeping me awake until I jotted this down … Nothing else in this world matters. Laundry, taking out the trash, mowing the grass, changing the oil; all the things that bug me or bother me. All the imperfections — none of it. What matters are the little things. The moments like that — the feeling I get when we hold hands and the world disappears. The looking into his eyes and knowing. All the laundry and dishes in the world can’t bring that joy and happiness.

It truly is the small things in this life that matter. I have learned and grown alot, but I find that I’m still learning and growing, each day, but I do however, like myself a lot better now than I did.  I truly believe that, that’s what this is about. The small things. Appreciating them and learning and growing from them. Who cares if the laundry isn’t done? Who cares if the dishes aren’t done? Is it nice to have someone help, yes. But does that really matter in the long run? Not really. 

I honestly don’t think all that stuff will bring joy and happiness into your life or marriage. Now, with that being said. Maybe I can lay back down and get some sleep. Good night and have blessed dreams.

Posted in Uncategorized

13 July 2014

Me and my husband attended a special talk at our stake center given by Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I took notes during his talk, it was a wonderful experience!

His wife, Sister Bednar spoke first about being a defender of the faith (or discipleship), to stay true to the faith and to pray for faith.

When you feel alone, pray to feel the love the from heavenly father and know that you aren’t alone, you have him with you.

Pray to show you his hand at work in your life — end of everyday, don’t forget to pray (end of her talk).

Posted in thoughts

Lesson in Love

This came to me awhile ago and I haven’t really thought much about it. I was prompted not once but twice in this exact order:

  • Love

  • Compassion

  • Selflessness

  • Forgiveness

  • Service

On my way home today (24 Feb 2017) – I got the rest of this post. I couldn’t figure out why this order and what these mean. 

In order to find the deeper meaning of “love” and find “christ-like” love, you have to start first and foremost with love. Just decide you’re going to love.

Then in Loving, you’ll find Compassion. You’ll find that you have this sadness I guess or this ache maybe in your heart and all you know is, you want to help somehow or someway.

Then in finding Compassion, you realize Selflessness which is acting on the Compassion that you feel. It’s not about you anymore or your feelings or your needs, etc. You’ve taken the “YOU” out and placed someone else in. You realize they are hurting or they are needing something, etc.

Then you find that you can Forgive. You can finally get past the hurts and hangups and Forgive. You can finally let go and press forward.

In Forgiving you find that you can Serve. With no question. With no desire for yourself or your needs. No desire for anything in return.

Then in doing Service, you find Christ-like love. You find this:

Mosiah 2:17:

 17 And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.

When you loose your way, you begin simply, with Love. Then repeat as often as necessary.

With all this, I understand even more what Christ meant when he said:

Matthew 27: 36 – 40:

 36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

 38 This is the first and great commandment.

 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. 

Posted in thoughts


I started to write a post a while back called “Lesson in Love”. This post I suppose is an addendum to that post (which I haven’t finished yet!).
Have you ever had something on your mind and heart that it feels like it is being instilled in you? Has it felt like Heavenly Father has taken a chisel and engraved it on your heart?
This is exactly how I feel today and it’s somewhat ironic that, today being Valentine’s Day, a day filled with love and admiration. The engraving on my heart is just that, Love.
I have struggled with this idea for quite sometime. I have come to a conclusion and asked, “Is this right”? I have asked, “Am I on the right track here”? Every time has been a resounding confirmation of the truth. I wonder why I kept asking and questioning and doubting.
I know why. It is a hard lesson.
The love that I am speaking about isn’t the Valentine’s Day love. No, this is so much more and deeper than that. Something that has been weighing heavily on my mind and heart. Something that I have talked to my husband about what seems to be a million times.
Today, I have understood and realized that, Yes. This is right. Yes. I am on the right track. Yes.
It has been a hard lesson for me and I know its been a hard lesson for Christ to teach, but then again, nothing is hard for him. He is patient and will continue as long as I am willing to learn and listen. He will tell me the same answer and same confirmation time and time again until I finally get that “A’ha” moment and realize, like today, Yes.
I also understand that, what I’ve learned over the course of a few months isn’t for everyone.
To begin, there are many examples and times that I have thought about this, but I will only focus on the prominent one that started this whole ball rolling.
I remember reading a post on facebook about a lady who was married for about 30 years and as she declared it, “I finally divorced my porn addicted husband after 30 years…etc,”. As read the article I couldn’t help but think, after 30 years of the struggle, the failed therapy and what not. You finally give up on him and your marriage? Forgive me but, I couldn’t help but wonder what did you do to help him? Did you offer a shoulder to lean on? Then I thought, oh my gosh is that right? She’s obviously been hurting for awhile…Then my thoughts turned to Christ. What if he, after x amount of years decides one day, you know what after all the rejections after all the promptings from the holy ghost. I’m done. I have to protect myself and my heart from getting hurt anymore. The very next thought was, is that right? Is that the way of it and how it should be? That, no matter what. No matter the time. No matter the hurt and pain. We aren’t meant to give up? This was so confusing to me. Because this lady had every justification. Every hurt. Every pain. She had the right to protect herself from it and find something else or someone else to bring happiness, right?
From that day, I had been struggling with this. I would get the certain confirmation, Yes. Then I would read another article or something would come up and bring my original question into play once more and I would ask, Is this right?
All I know is, this has been a hard lesson for me. To love unconditionally. To love without ceasing. To love selflessly. To love as Christ loves.
Christ never ceases. Christ never gives up. He is to be our example, so if this is true. Then — this is the hard part. To love someone means:
1. Love
2. Compassion
3 .Selflessness
4. Forgiveness
5. Service
All of these are Christlike attributes. The way he loves. Without question. Without fault. Without ceasing.
Again, this is a hard lesson. I understand and realize that there are situations out there that are hard and trying. That hurt. I understand that. I also understand marriage and what it is meant to be. Please understand that I am not talking about dating or even being engaged. You haven’t made a commitment or convenient. You can walk away anytime. I’m talking about Marriage. The sacred covenant between God and the other person.
I look at my own life and my own marriage. It’s not without trying times and hurt and hardship. When I look back on and look at it now, It’s always changing and evolving. He and I aren’t the same people we were at the beginning. I see changes and evolution’s.
What I’m trying to say is — this life is short. We are to learn all we can to prepare for eternity and if, we give up. If we throw our hands up because of adversity or things that make us uncomfortable or hurt, then how can we expect to live an eternity? Are we going to continually give up when things get hard?
Christ doesn’t and he never will. So, what I have had such a hard time understanding is why do we give up on each other? Regardless of how much “time” has gone by. Again, I think of Christ. Does he give up on us, if we reject him. If we hurt him. He doesn’t. Not ever. Nor will he ever.
So with marriage, you promise. I know some won’t like this, but regardless of what is done to you. How much pain you endure. You never give up. You love more. You forgive. You serve. You do ALL you humanly can and let Christ take the rest. You repeat 1 – 5 over and over and over. Never ceasing. The REAL battle isn’t with you or your spouse. It’s with Satan. To give up means you let him win.
Do not be concerned about the other person. They have their own agency – but YOU do all YOU can. If that person chooses to do the same, how can you fail? If that person chooses to not do the same, you’re heart and soul is free from wrong and Christ can take that pain and turn it into something beautiful. Does this make sense? You understand what I’m trying to say?
We are eternal beings. This life is meant to temper us. To make us stronger each day. Our trials, hurts and hangups are just sticking that steel blade in the fire to only come out stronger in the end. To become more. To love more. To never give up, no matter how hard. I always turn to Christ and his example. Even while dying on the cross, he never stopped loving. He never stopped, he never told Heavenly Father it was too hard and he needed to protect himself and heart – instead he Prayed for them. He asked his Father to forgive them for they know not what they do. What kind of love is that? It’s unreal. It’s — perfect. That’s how we should love. Always.
The conviction I have in my heart is so strong, I feel like Heavenly Father has taken a chisel and engraved this in my heart. I know this is right. I know that the answer is Yes.